By Kyle Petersen

Spring has sprung, which means high school juniors will soon start thinking about college applications. It’s a lot of pressure, but Dubé Juggling has got a handy guide to help you find the college of your dreams.

-Ball State is an obvious choice for jugglers.

-Choose a major based on what type of juggling you enjoy. Into siteswaps? Study rocket science. Do you enjoy clowning? Study political science. Poi spinner? Study post-modern approaches to interpretive dance and astrology.

-The quad isn’t just for frisbee and hacky sack. It’s also great for club passing, staff spinning, fire juggling, or any other stoner-friendly manipulation-based activity.

-Your GPA matters, but it’s not the only thing. Make sure you keep a Juggling Point Average of at least 4.0 balls.

-If you think about it, the lower part of Michigan looks like a hand, and the upper part looks like a club being tossed. For this reason alone, we recommend University of Michigan. Go Wolverines!

-Unicycles aren’t just for cruising around campus. they’re also a great way to pick up babes.

-College is a great time to explore yourself. And by explore yourself, we mean try out new skill toys like kendama and rope dart. Ew, gross. What did you think we were talking about?

-If the college president puts your juggling club on double secret probation, the next 90 minutes are going to be hilarious!

-Three words: unicycle beer bong!

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