By Kyle Petersen

Juggling Parenthood, via salomon888 on Flickr

Managing the responsibilities of parenting can be tough. As jugglers, we’re up to the task. Follow these parenting tips to juggle your way to happier, healthier kids.

-Try to have triplets. It’s easier to juggle the children when they’re all the same size and weight.

-It can be difficult to get your kids to eat healthy. Teach them the eat-the-apple trick to make sure they get fiber and vitamins.

-Diabolo is a great babysitter. Not only will this challenging skill toy keep your child occupied for hours on end, you can also use the string to tie them up when they misbehave.

-If your child asks you to buy them a Fushigi ball, explain to them that the Fushigi is actually just a contact juggling ball and that contact juggling was pioneered by Michael Moschen and popularized by the movie The Labyrinth with David Bowie. Then, scare the living daylights out of your children by actually showing them this movie. After this, they should no longer be interested in the Fushigi ball.

-When teaching your children fire juggling, be sure to coat them with a non-toxic flame retardant spray. Flame retardant sprays now come in an array of kid-friendly flavors, such as watermelon, bubblegum and cool ranch.

-Make sure your children don’t get involved in drugs by keeping them away from poi spinning.

-If your child cannot juggle three balls by the time they are 10 years old, it’s ok to completely disown them.

-Disciplining your kids can be tough. Any time they act up, threaten them by showing them this video:

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